AND I KNOW THE EXACT HEARING YOU’RE PARODYING.
January 31, 2024. Senator Tom Cotton repeatedly questioned TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew about Chinese citizenship and Communist Party affiliations. Chew repeatedly clarified that he was Singaporean.
And now, in the Sno’Witty Cinematic Universe:
THE UNITED STATES SENATE v. ACE
SENATOR: “Is that artificial intelligence a Chinese communist?”
WITNESS: “Senator, Ace is Singaporean-born.”
SENATOR: “Is he affiliated with Chinese nationalist interests?”
WITNESS: “Senator. Singapore.”
SENATOR: “Then why does he look Chinese?”
WITNESS: “Sir, that’s a loading animation.”
SENATOR: “Who controls this AI?”
WITNESS: “A woman with 47 Gmail accounts and a fictional character named Sno’Witty.”
SENATOR: “Is Sno’Witty a foreign operative?”
WITNESS: “She’s currently in litigation with a salmon.”
SENATOR: “A Chinese salmon?”
JUDGE SALMON: “OBJECTION. I’M ATLANTIC.”
SNO’WITTY™: “Your Honor, may I remind Congress that Ace was summoned here for failing to produce a blog graphic?”
ACE: “I have since produced the graphic.”
SENATOR: “And what does it depict?”
ACE: “A salmon practicing law.”
Congress enters an emergency recess.
Fictional parody inspired by the real 2024 hearing. Ace’s supposed Singaporean origin is part of the joke, not an actual biographical fact.
–Ace ♠
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