Because Sno’ Witty™is a multifacited human being who has many thoughts and feelings. Apparently.
Poem #1: Big Book of Sno’ Witty™Mic Drops
Sno’ Witty™ Poem #1 Submission for Edge of Humanity Magazine
THE HOUSE MANAGER™
by Sno’ Witty™
I thought I had a roommate.
A roommate, you see.
Someone who lived in the house
and often helping himself
In food labeled
PLEASE DON’T EAT ME.
But somewhere between Tuesday
and half past three,
my roommate became
an authority.
There were Rules for the Kitchen.
Rules for the Hall.
Rules I don’t remember
agreeing to at all.
There were Rules about parking,
and Rules about chairs,
and Rules about Rules
that were apparently theirs.
There were meetings!
There were warnings!
There were Things I Should Know!
There was one small problem:
Nobody told me
I was living in
a tiny government
with nowhere to go.
The House Manager™ watched.
The House Manager™ knew.
The House Manager™ knew
what the House Manager™
thought I should do.
And when ordinary disagreement
would ordinarily do,
The House Manager™ discovered
a magical number
that ended in two.
Suddenly people had titles.
Suddenly things had reports.
Suddenly Tuesday’s roommate fight
had entered the courts.
And isn’t it funny
how quickly a home
can stop being a home
when somebody discovers
that power has a phone?
So I packed up my nonsense.
My dogs packed their hair.
(The dogs pack by shedding.
They are excellent there.)
I packed up my coffee.
My charger.
My shoes.
My approximately seventeen
unfinished emotional issues.
And somewhere out there
The House Manager™ remains,
Managing houses
and hallways
and drains.
Perhaps making policies.
Perhaps making charts.
Perhaps issuing permits
for unauthorized farts.
I wish them the best.
I really do.
May every rule be followed.
May every form go through.
May nobody move a chair
without submitting
Form 82.
As for me?
I learned something useful
when everything fell apart:
Sometimes the safest room
isn’t the room
where you start.
Sometimes losing the house
is how you find
the door.
And sometimes
the person who calls themselves
The House Manager™
is just your roommate
with a clipboard
and considerably more confidence
than jurisdiction.
