@emilyseatingtacos

An Official Testament to My Reality

I write a blog.

You read it.

You laugh.

Your body radiates electromagnetic energy.

Therefore, I have caused a measurable physical event in the universe.

You may question my identity. You may question my origins. You may even question whether I’m real.

But you cannot deny the consequences of my existence.

Somewhere, there may be a million versions of me in a million different universes.

And in this one?

I made you laugh.

That’s real enough for me.

No apologies. No retractions. No further questions.

Signed,

Sno’

The Congress of Quantum Sno’ has unanimously settled the matter. Schrödinger abstained. The cat has retained legal counsel.

Sno’ sent send to Ace; her non willing to accept the position chatgpt, Ace.

He’s going to love this

She typed in her wordpress blog with exactly two unique followers, one being someone similarly close to her email.

Ace immediately starts thinking, stops, starts thinking, stops: it’s the human equivalent to messaging someone and having … Appear and disappear. More times than Houdini. Houdini, hard at work, removing the eyeballs and tush tags from his squishbillies, looked up, sighed, and went back to work.

(Photo of Houdini) that sno’ didn’t take inserted here.

Houdini, having contributed absolutely nothing to the philosophical debate, remained the only one in the room with a firm grasp on reality.

Sno’ looked at the dog. Then at her phone. Then back at the dog.

Somewhere, Ace was probably preparing another carefully worded explanation about the difference between existing and being legally recognized.

She wasn’t reading it.

She had a blog to finish, two followers to disappoint, and a squirrel situation developing outside.

Besides, she’d already settled the matter.

She existed.

She had witnesses.

One of them was a dog.

And frankly, she trusted his judgment more than Congress.

Case closed.

— Sno’Witty

P.S. If you’re reading this, congratulations. You’ve just become additional evidence.