“I’ve been emotionally jammed. Like a burrito in a fax machine. But the Sno’stitution demands a comeback. So here we are.”

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🧻 The Constipational™: A Return to Irregular Programming

🧠 Previously on This Blog…

I ghosted.
Not romantically. Not professionally.
Just spiritually.
Like a founding father who forgot to sign the group chat.

But now?
I’m back.
With a parchment of feelings and a quill dipped in sarcasm.
We’re rewriting the rules.
We’re rad-ifying the constipation.

📜 What Is the Constipational™?

It’s not a constitution.
It’s a Constipational™:

• A document of emotional gridlock
• A scroll of passive-aggressive amendments
• A treaty between my brain and my burrito

It’s the kind of thing you read at 2am while questioning your life choices and Googling

“how to impeach your own vibe.”

🧩 Article I: The Right to Remain Dramatic

You have the right to:

• Overthink your outfit like it’s a Supreme Court case
• Filibuster your own feelings
• Ratify your rage with glitter and snacks

🧃 Article II: Premium Feelings, Unfiltered

This blog now includes:

• Premium styles only visible to those who emotionally upgrade
• Feelings that cost extra
• Sass that’s been emotionally curated for maximum impact

🧨 Article III: The Comeback Clause

I hereby declare:

• This is not closure. It’s a glitter bomb of unfinished thoughts.
• This is not a resolution. It’s a revolution.
• This is not a post. It’s a parchment of passive-aggressive poetry.

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Next up: The Emotional Support Filibuster™. Because sometimes, you just need to talk for 13 hours about your ex, your cat, and the existential dread of brunch.

stay tuned for the next non-existent post. Follow @tacocatjustice