“I didn’t ghost you. I just entered a prolonged filibuster with my feelings. And my burrito.”

THURSDAY OCTOBER 30TH, 2025

Scene I — The Setup

She’s sitting in a dog-friendly café that smells like regret and oat milk.
Her emotional support burrito is warm. Unlike her ex.
She’s wearing a jacket that says “I’m fine” in 17 fonts.
She’s not fine.

“I came here to write. Instead, I’m emotionally lobbying for snacks and closure.”

Scene II — The Filibuster Begins

She starts talking.
To the barista.
To her burrito.
To the ghost of her last situationship.

Topics include:

• Why texting “lol” is emotional terrorism
• The constitutional right to cry in public
• Whether cuddles should be tax-deductible

She’s not stopping.
She’s filibustering.
And the burrito? It’s listening.

Scene III — The Burrito of Truth

Halfway through, she unwraps the burrito and finds:

• A note that says “You deserve better”
• A crumpled receipt from her last emotional investment
• A metaphor for her entire dating history (it’s soggy)

She eats it anyway.
Because healing is messy.
And guac is extra.

Scene IV — The Resolution (Kind Of)

She leaves the café with:

• A renewed sense of sass
• A half-written blog post
• A burrito-shaped hole in her heart

“I didn’t get closure. But I did get carbs. And sometimes, that’s enough.”

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Next Episode Teaser: “Cabin Fever & Strategic Cuddles” — Sno’ Witty™ goes off-grid with snacks, sarcasm, and a boyfriend who thinks coloring books are foreplay.