From the Chronicles of Sno’ Witty

(still 100% fictional — unless you’re brave enough to believe 🤣)

☕ Late Morning (aka Brunch O’Clock)

Sno’ Witty stumbles into her kitchen at 11:59 AM sharp — just early enough to say she “woke up in the morning,” just late enough to annoy morning people.

She grabs her coffee mug that says “World’s Okayest Princess” and mutters:

“If birds try singing to me today, I’m making pigeon nuggets.”

🛒 Afternoon Escapades

She hits Target “just for toothpaste.” Two hours later she’s staggering out with $187 worth of nonsense: a neon lava lamp, three pairs of fuzzy socks, and a suspicious candle named ‘Midnight Vampire Latte.’

A toddler points at her Snow-White-ish hair and whispers, “Mommy, is that Elsa’s evil sister?”

Sno’ Witty grins:

“Damn right, kid.”

🍕 Early Evening

She orders pizza. Delivery guy arrives late.

He apologizes: “Traffic was bad.”

She side-eyes him like the Wicked Queen:

“What, a dragon blocked I-90?”

She tips him in sarcasm and leftover coupons for Taco Bell.

🎤 Nightlife (Sno’ Witty Unleashed)

At karaoke night, some dude butchers “Let It Go.” Sno’ Witty hijacks the mic and belts her own anthem:

🎶 “Let it snow, let it snow, sarcasm’s all I know…” 🎶

The crowd goes feral. Someone shouts, “You’re cold!”

She bows deeply, winks, and delivers the kill shot:

“And yet you still came to feel the chill.”

🌙 Midnight Exit

She struts home under flickering streetlights, cape flapping like budget Batman. She checks her cracked iPhone mirror one last time.

“Mirror, mirror, on this phone — roast me quick before I get home.”

Siri sighs:

“Battery at 3%. Roast yourself.”

Fade out. Sno’ Witty lives to clap back another day.

“Le sigh”.

The Chronicles of Sno’ Witty™” where each post is a mini adventure — “Sno’ Witty Goes to Therapy,” “Sno’ Witty vs. Amazon Prime,” “Sno’ Witty on Jury Duty”

September 18th, 2025

5:49PM CNT