This story is 100 percent fictional.

(To most people. 🤣)

🌨️ Morning

Sno’ Witty rolls out of bed at noon because, let’s be real, mornings are for peasants and pumpkin spice addicts. She opens her blinds: blinding white sunlight. Her first words of the day?

“Fuck me, it’s like God left the fridge door open again.”

Instead of singing to birds, she yells at a squirrel stealing from her porch:

“Oi! Rent’s due, mate. That acorn isn’t free.”

🍏 Afternoon

She hits the bodega for snacks. The cashier side-eyes her apple purchase.

“Relax, it’s not poisoned. I’m not that easy to kill.”

Seven dudes outside try to catcall her. She claps back in one sentence:

“You wish, dwarves — I don’t do unpaid internships.”

They retreat. A legend is born.

🏙️ Evening

Instead of a woodland cottage, Sno’ Witty lives in a shoebox apartment with Wi-Fi that cuts out exactly when she’s about to roast Elon Musk on Threads. She makes dinner: ramen, hot sauce, and pure audacity.

Her mirror on the wall? A cracked iPhone screen. She asks:

“Who’s the fairest of them all?”

It replies (Siri voice):

“Girl, it ain’t you, but you are the funniest.”

🌌 Night

She goes out, dripping sarcasm and thrifted fur. People stare. Someone dares to call her cold.

She leans in, whispering with a smirk:

“Honey, I’m not cold. I’m Sno’ Witty. There’s a difference.”

She drops the mic, vanishes into the night, and somewhere in the distance, seven broke dwarves cry into their craft beer.

9/18/2025 4:49PM

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