Morning, Evening, and Night:

[Opening soundscape]

Low purple haze synths, faint grocery-store ambiance—cart wheels squeaking, distant scanner beeps, a soft hum of overhead fluorescent lights.

Sno’ Witty™️ Narration (internal monologue):

🎵 “Like a song of words, hope’s what I prefer…” 🎵

(Yeah, yeah, music playing softly in the background, because even chaos needs a soundtrack.)

“Okay, so here I am, cruising down aisle seven, hands on the cart, brain stuck in purple haze. Literally, I’ve got all the shit I don’t even need. Chips, sparkling water, some weird kale chips… why did I buy kale chips? Oh right, because the machine said yes.”

[SFX: self-checkout machine beeping angrily]

“And now I’m fighting with the machine. Literally. Punching buttons in a slow, psychedelic dance of frustration. And then… my eyes catch him. Someone else. Fighting their machine. Anxiety on full display. But his jacket. OH. MY. GOD. The jacket. Dazzling blue. Like a beacon of sanity in the fluorescent wasteland.”

Sno’ Witty internal monologue continues:

And here’s the thing: nobody notices him. Everyone thinks he’s crazy—maybe they’re thinking he’s me. reaches out.

Sno’ Witty™️ belts out, much louder than intended:

“HEY! Love your jacket.”

Half sideways glance. A small, cautious smile, as he might be wondering Sno’ Witty™️ is on. (purple haze by in-house)

His jacket dark blue, tight fit but glamorous and shiny like a total god of 🦄. And just like that… tension melts.

“Thank you, I got it at Goodwill” he beams. Sno’ Smiles back.

“I get everything from Goodwill.”

They continue on to both yelling at their Aldi check-out machines.

Sno’ Witty™️ realized, this is how we solve it. Americans being weird and stuff.

Her internal dialogue half out loud at this point. As she’s exiting Aldi with nothing but two expensive Karma Drinks. She had to get them- for good Karma, two cans of chicken, hydration packets, and an actual chicken. (why not at $6.50)

She didn’t need these items.

“Not legislation, not empathy overdrive… we talk to each other in the grocery aisle more.”

[SFX: carts gently clinking, soft laughter in the distance]

Sno’ Witty™️ walks away, still in a fairy purple as hell, purple haze like a cloud over her thoughts, but her soul… lighter. She tells nobody, but still outloud, what she learned:

“Over-politeness isn’t the answer. One human connection is. Machines will always be a little cruel. Jackets can literally save the world.”

🎵 “From dark pasts you still see / Infinite possibilities / You believe in your soul / Transformation makes you whole…” 🎵

And as Sno’ Witty™️ barks her own music outloud, driving 0.3 miles back to her humble shack.

the moral hits: America, your salvation isn’t policy, it’s dialogue. Grocery aisle dialogue. Compliment a jacket. Make eye contact. Solve anxiety, one purple haze moment at a time.

[Outro music fades: whimsical, slightly chaotic synths]

September 24th, 2025